FINDING PURPOSE
If you told me 5 years ago that I will become a single mother, I would definitely tell you otherwise. I am led to share this story with you.
In January of 2016, I had a medical abortion. The fetus had some abnormal complications and the doctors saw it best for me to abort it. I was 4 months pregnant. That journey was a rough one as I was not yet a born-again Christian.
However, I believed in God. During the months after that I couldn't cope with the loss and I kept questioning why it had to happen. Why my first child? Why me? I didn't seek counseling to deal with the loss and I would constantly be crying or thinking about it.
I had prayed to God asking him to bless me with another child.
In November 2016, I found out I was pregnant again and this time it was with my ex who was in another relationship at the time.
He answered my prayer but not in the way that I would expect. During pregnancy, I had to get used to doing things on my own as I had no partner around to help me. I had to go to my doctor's appointments and even giving birth.
Looking back, I would say this was preparing me for motherhood as I am now doing it all on my own with God's help of course. It was never my intention that I would raise a child on my own. I always imagined that my child would be raised in a stable family. This took a long time for me to accept especially before I became a Christian. I felt broken and ashamed.
During the first few months after childbirth, I went into post partum depression. I just wanted out. I didn't want to live anymore. Suicidal thoughts flooded my mind to kill myself and my new born baby. I felt hopeless. I remember crying out to God for Him to help me and I know He did. In 2018, a year after giving birth. I got baptized and committed my life to God, I began to realize that being a mother gave me a whole new purpose in life and helped me to be more focused as I now have someone looking up to me.
I can now say what the enemy meant for evil, God turned it for my good. I overcame death, depression, feeling broken and unworthy. There is no condemnation in Christ. [Romans 8:1] As a child of God, I am forgiven, I am chosen and God has greater plans for my life. Motherhood is a part of my ministry. I am mentally stronger and wiser. My daughter is thriving and flourishing.
I thank God for salvation and I am thankful that I answered the call to commit my life to Him.
If you're not yet saved, I encourage you to give your life to Him. He loves you so much. John 3:16 says, For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him will not perish but Have eternal life. We can't do anything in our own strength. God wants to be your Friend, Provider, Way maker, Miracle Worker and so much more.
God's love is so wonderful and I am learning to love me as How God sees me. My identity is in Christ. Everything that happens in life is all apart of God's plan for us. I hope that this testimony will encourage someone. You can be a blessing by sharing it with someone else.